mitsudomoe symbol representing autonomy, competence, and relatedness

What Therapy with Me Looks Like

Therapy with me is not about giving you advice or trying to “fix” you. It’s about creating a space where you can reconnect with who you are, what matters most to you, and how you want to live. My approach assumes—and is supported by strong research—that all human beings have an inner drive toward growth, vitality, and integration. This drive can be blocked when our basic psychological needs for autonomy, relatedness, and competence are neglected or undermined.

In our work together, I aim to support these needs in every session and help you build the skills to support them for yourself. The way we work will always be collaborative: I’ll do my best to maximize your choice and self-direction, and to provide clear, personally meaningful reasons for any recommendations I make.

I organize my work across three interconnected levels:

1. Therapist-Client Relationship

The foundation of effective therapy is the quality of the relationship itself. I work to create a space that feels safe, respectful, and collaborative. In practice, this means:

Fostering shared purpose by working together to clarify what matters most to you.
Adjusting structure and support to match your needs—providing more guidance, feedback, or challenge when helpful, and stepping back to encourage your own initiative when you’re ready.
Exploring resistance and ambivalence as natural, valuable signals—not obstacles to be overcome, but opportunities to better understand internal conflicts or unmet needs.
Offering meaningful rationales for any suggestions so you can make informed choices grounded in your values and interests.

My goal is for the process of therapy itself to model the same conditions that support growth and well-being outside of therapy.

2. Building Inner Skills

Many people arrive in therapy with strong internal critics, feelings of shame, or rigid self-demands that developed in response to earlier experiences of basic psychological need thwarting. Together, we work to bring compassionate awareness to these patterns and create healthier, more supportive ways of relating to yourself.

A central part of this work is learning to read your "need climate." Emotions and energy levels often carry information about whether your thoughts, activities, relationships, and social environments are need-supporting—inviting choice, effectiveness, and connection—or need-thwarting—fueling pressure, helplessness, or isolation. The aim is not to suppress or control feelings, but to listen to them as important signals, reflect on their meaning, and respond wisely.

Common themes and skills we practice include:

Identifying autonomy-thwarting and critical self-talk rooted in internalized pressures or early messages of conditional acceptance.
Developing autonomy-supportive self-talk that aligns with your values and supports your goals.
Recognizing and stepping away from "need substitutes," pursuits that seem rewarding but ultimately leave you feeling empty or pressured.
Strengthening your authentic inner compass: staying connected to what matters most so it can guide decisions even when facing outside pressures.
Using guided imagery and visualization to create internally need-satisfying and healing experiences, even if your external environment doesn’t yet provide them.
Practicing integrative emotion regulation: being present with emotions as meaningful signals about your needs, rather than trying to control, eliminate, or ignore them.
Strengthening mindfulness and body-based awareness to increase self-understanding, integrate experiences more fully, and respond with greater flexibility.
Engaging in self-compassion work to soften harsh internal voices and create a more nurturing internal environment.

These practices aren’t about achieving any particular emotional state—they’re about building the capacity to live with greater awareness, alignment, and inner coherence.

3. Strengthening Relationships

Our connections with others are a vital source of meaning, but they can also be a source of challenge or pain. Many people were never taught how to ask for what actually helps them thrive. In this level, we practice an active, respectful way of shaping interactions—so you can invite the kind of support that makes daily life more need satisfying. In this level, we might focus on:

Building relational authenticity—showing up in ways that feel true to you.
Developing communication skills that invite openness and mutual understanding.
Expanding your ability to both offer and receive care in ways that feel mutual and sustaining.
Recognizing the conditions under which you function best, and naming preferences and needs plainly—without apology.
Making clear, doable requests, negotiating options, and following up with appreciation or revision.
Setting limits when requests can’t be met or when a situation isn’t safe.

The goal is not perfection in relationships, but more honesty, openness, and depth—so you can experience connection as a source of energy and well-being rather than depletion or strain.

No matter which level we’re working in at any moment, these areas of focus overlap and reinforce one another. You may come to therapy wanting to address a specific concern, but over time, you’ll likely notice shifts not just in that area, but in how you relate to yourself, others, and the choices you make in daily life.